Y’all, Vajazzling. 
It’s what Jennifer Love Hewitt loves to call ripping all of the hair off of her soft, sweet lady part and gluing shiny, spangly things to it instead. (Oy!) She says it makes her man feel like he’s tripping the Light Fantastic, and she apparently leaves him all kinds of surprising messages. It’s a whole new twist on ‘sexting.’ “I LOVE YOU” is probably the most super popular Vajazzle message. And “DON’T FORGET THE CLITORIS THIS TIME, HON.” Of course “I’VE BEEN MULLING IT OVER AND I REALLY THINK IT’S BEST IF WE JUST STAY FRIENDS” is probably up there, too. Not to mention “YASHER KOACH!” Being a huge Bo Derek fan, I’ve had my lady part braided -or vajangled– for years, which might make me seem just a tad behind the times. But, honestly, I’ve had no complaints from anyone with any access to it. Except for Dr. Wolfman. He seems to find the beads difficult to maneuver during my monthly pelvic exam. But y’all, Nunzia will soon be offering this new service at Nunzia’s Nail Nest, and I think I might be getting super excited about my new holiday va-journey! For Yom Kippur, I could get a Vajazzled Shofar. For Halloween, a little black pussy cat. And I just cannot wait for Christmas! How cute is a little baby Va-Jesus?! Don’t worry, lovelies. I’ll totally take pictures!
GILDA SUE ROSENSTERN 