WORD NERD: It is What it is! . . or is it?

Have y’all been hearing folks say, “it is what it is”?

I sure have. I mean it’s darn everywhere. In movies. In television. I’ve even heard Rabbi Spiderman say it. I’ll bet if Porky Pig were working today, he’d totally trade his super-famous trademark “that’s all, folks!” for it.

Although tons of folks kvetch about being tired of hearing that phrase, folks continue to hear it because folks continue to say it; the “it” being the saying “it is what it is,” itself.

Needless to say, the argument against the phrase is that of course it is what it is. What else would it be? The obviousness of it all renders it as unnecessary as saying, “needless to say” before going on and saying the thing that needn’t be said.

But, take a look at the precursers to “it is what it is.”

There was the popular soulful greeting from the sixties, “What it is!” That saying was made popular by black folks in New York City coffee houses and immortalized by Aretha Franklin in her song Rock Steady (which did and does totally and steadily rock, by the way). “What it is!” is actually pretty abstruse, and nobody uses it now but for NPR commentators and the like. But that song really was what it was, and it totally continues to is, y’all.

There was President Bill Clinton, of all people, contemplating what the actual meaning of “is” is.  Bill had us wondering if it is indeed what it is. At least for just a minute. Then we all realized that it’s actually real-real obvious what the meaning of “is” is. And that Bill will always be exactly what he is.

But my first personal encounter with this anti-non-philosophy was in that 1978 film, The Deer Hunter. That Robert De Niro character says the following:  “You see this? This is this. This ain’t somethin’ else. This is this.”


The first time I saw this movie, I marveled at the apparent absurdity/banality of that line, and I pondered it for a real-real long time. I mean, was that really that? If so, why was he so emphatic about it? I began to suspect that everything was not what it seemed. That it is not necessarily really what it is.

Or is it?

Oy.

Regardless, “it is what it is” is what it is. I have very little doubt it will be is for a real-real long time, and it may never actually be a was.

                                                        It is what it is.  And then some.

P.S. We’re still making the movie about my life, and we still need money to make it. It, as they say, is what it is, folks!

So Much Gilda Sue, So Little Time!

Y’all,

I’m not usually one to succumb to feelings of guilt, oddly enough. I suppose the half-Baptist side (the side that has come to terms with being born bad, the side that has gotten pretty comfortable in the rotten skin of an inevitable sinner) has sort of outweighed the half-Jewish side (the side always wanting to turn back the clock and get a do-over, if not to impress The Actual Almightly, to impress the gals down at the spa). I think I probably should feel guitly about not having any new episodes of The Gilda Sue Rosenstern Computer Internet Show web series in ages and damn ages. But I’m just up to my eyeballs in  movie making, y’all. I wish to Moses that I had enough time in the day to do it all, but I just don’t, so something had to give, and as sad as I am about it (if not shamed), that something has been the show.

But nobody likes a kvetch, right? Instead, I’m celebrating how super busy I am with a ‘tini or three and sharing some oldies-but-goodies for us all to munch on while we put together an even better bit of Gilda Sue adventure. It’s real-real hard making a movie about your life, but super worth it. Slowly but surely we are churning out a good hour and a half of what some might love to call “gospel according to Gilda Sue.” So stay tuned! It’s going to damn rock!

Oh, and stay tuned some more, because we’re also going to put together an honest-to-goodness TV show that will take the paint off the walls, that’s how hard it’s going to damn rock!

Thanks for your understanding, lovelies.

With love, enthusiasm, all good vibes, and a ‘tini or six,

Gilda Sue!

P.S. Here’s one of my favorites!

Leap Year Means an Extra Day of Rockin’ for Gilda Sue AND Ellen Degeneres!

Did y’all know that 2012 is a Leap Year? I don’t know what could be more real-real exciting. I’ve spent the last 24 hours deciding what I’m going to do with that extra 24 hours.

To those who are thinking that I’ve already spent my extra 24 hours by planning my 24 hours which I technically now don’t really have, I say, “Y’all are missing the point totally, and I’m pretty sure you’re doing on purpose. What ever happened to that resolution to be less of a smarty panties? Oy!”

To the rest of you I say, “My goals for the year are simple: (1) To make a movie about my life, (2) to record a smash hit musical song, (C) to make a super-viral musical video that no medicine in even Dr. Bill Feelgood Gates’s bag can eradicate from your Internet machine, (D) this thing. (I KNOW!) With this extra day, I add (E) to be Ellen Degeneres’s co-hostess for a day on her show which is called, oddly enough, The Ellen Degeneres Show.”

The beauty of goal E (For Ellen!) is that (a) it’s so going to happen, and (II) it will totally make goals 1 through D possible.

I’m so tickled I’m pink!

Y’all can all help make these things possible. I know your lives are super busy, and it’s hard to find time for all the extra stuff folks ask you to do, but now you’ve got a whole extra day to do it. Start by cheering me on and spreading The Gospel According to Gilda Sue via any and all of your social networking neighborhoods, then by donating cash HERE, then by telling Ellen how much I rock and how much she’s missing out by not having me co-host with her for a day. (It’s just one day. A Leap Year day, even. Jeez. It’s like God gave her an extra day SPECIFICALLY for this purpose! What else is she gonna do with it?) Here’s her contact info!

What are y’all going to do with YOUR extra day?

To Sag or Not to Sag

Hello, lovelies!

Hey, y’all may not know this, but the movie actors have a union and it’s called, of all things, SAG.

I KNOW! SAG!

Now, the folks at Mean Mama Dog have had to decide what to do about SAG with regards to making this movie about my life (which is so going to totally rock, by the way). They wanted to know what I thought about SAG. They are in favor of it, but I’m against it, y’all. Real-real.

I’ve grappled with a debilitating gravity allergy my whole life, and I’ve been able to keep the gravity pretty much at bay. So far. So I’ll be darned if I’m going to let anyone force me to sag.

Screen acting celebrities like Nancy Grace, and Oprah Winfrey, and Christian Bale may have the luxury of sitting around sagging all day, what with every plastic surgeon and Tai-Bo instructor in L.A. at their becks and their calls, but not me. I can’t afford a Brazilian Wax (see?), much less a facelift, or a tummy tuck, or even botox. I simply must remain tight and high all on my own. Drambuie-tinis help with the high part, so I’m half way there.

Oy!

Anyway, lovelies, take it from me. The Gild Sue Rosenstern Computer Internet Show movie is well under way, and there’s not one bit of sagging in it.

Yet.

Stay tuned for updates, y’all. And spread the word!

Cheers!

Y’all, The Devil’s Triangle is Complete!

Mean Mama Dog is proud to announce the addition of the sensational Glenn Rainey to this runaway streetcar named The Gilda Sue Rosenstern Computer Internet Show movie.

I KNOW! Check him out. He rocks so hard they let him do THIS!

The ball is rolling, y’all and it absolutely cannot be stopped now.

ROCK ON, TEAM GILDA SUE!

(The title to this little blog installation may or may not be clear to you, but the actual devil is in the details. Help us get this movie made so you can see for yourself what Glenn, Kathleen McManus and I are up to!)

Vince Canlas Joins Team Gilda Sue. Oprah Has no Comment.

Happy Monday, Lovelies.

How was your first week of 2012? Mine rocked. So many folks are back to smoking cigarettes, or eating meat, or drinking much too much alcohol again, and by that I mean so many folks have failed miserably at keeping their resolutions, already. But others are still super committed to my resolution. Even one step closer to realizing it. It’s becoming a movement, really, and not just for Gomez and me. For so many, it’s a realiz-ution more than a resolution. If you are one of those folks who were drunk, or in a food coma, or blinded by a cloud of ciggy smoke on New Year’s Eve, making resolutions you immediately regretted even before you got started, I offer up my resolution for you to work toward. Take a look and join the growing number of people who are committing themselves to it in 2012.

Vince Canlas is one of those people. He jumped aboard this bicycle built for way-more-than-two we love to call The Gilda Sue Rosenstern Computer Internet Show and we couldn’t be happier to have him.

Thanks, Vince! Team Gilda Sue is stronger, and Oprah Winfrey weaker, with you among the ranks. You rock.

And, y’all, thanks in advance for all your help in 2012. We’re going to need it. Rea-real. Give all the good ju-ju, cash, and well-wishes you can. Start by clicking HERE! Then please spread the word!

CHEERS!

Robin Bloodworth Rocks Hard for Team Gilda Sue!

Happy 2012, lovelies!

With the new year comes new stuff, y’all. Obviously. Like that extra “2” in the year part of the date. I KNOW! How many times do you think you’ll write that incorrectly in your Hello Kitty diary? My guess is about 12.

But, lots of new things aren’t necessarily so frustrating, but actually super cool, like a new member for Team Gilda Sue!

That’s right, y’all. Mean Mama Dog is proud to announce that Robin Bloodworth, star of stage and screen, is the latest passenger to climb aboard this luxury liner we love to call The Gilda Sue Rosenstern Computer Internet Show, and I couldn’t be tickled more pink about it. (More tickled pink? Tickled pinker?) He’s handsome, he’s charming, he’s talented. What else do you want?

Look for him in the upcoming movie about my life, which is so going to rock! If you want it to rock harder (rock more hard?) click HERE and give us some money. We’d be super grateful. We’d love you. We’d probably even pray for you. Or we’d at least find someone else to.

Thanks a ton, y’all! See you next year.

Cheers!

Resolved! Oprah Passes the Baton, But Not to Chuck Norris.

Happy Holidays, lovelies!

Okay, I have one New Year’s resolution. Just one. But with one like this, who needs to balance checkbooks, drink less/work out more, or snag the Republican Party nomination for President of America? That’s for suckers and boors.

Have y’all heard of Oprah Winfrey?

Of course you have. She’s famous. Real-real. She’s more famous than Christian Bale and Nancy Grace put together. (I don’t actually recommend you picture Christian Bale and Nancy Grace put together, though, unless you’ve already had at least three Christmas-morning mimosas!)

Oprah is famous for talking. She talks all the time and to everybody you can think of. She’s also famous for inventing stuff. She invented Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and a new Christian-ish, religion-like, Jesus-y spirituality that I bet even Jesus could get behind, and not just because Oprah has asked him to relinquish his co-pilot status and take a seat in the back. I KNOW! She can get away with anything. So, not only is she famous, she’s what some folks love to call powerful. Nobody tells Oprah Winfrey what to do. Oprah Winfrey tells you what to do. And you do it, don’t you? (I’m looking at you, Chuck Norris.)

So, my resolution is to make Oprah Winfrey the ME of the last generation (the previous generation, not the final generation). She’ll be the more voluptuous, more black, less half-Jewish ME of your parents’ generation. And by that I mean that I’ll be the less voluptuous, less black, more half-Jewish Oprah of your generation. Why not? What else am I going to do?

Now, I could really use your help. If you’d like to strap on this jet pack we love to call The Gilda Sue Rosenstern Computer Internet Show and be a part of the magic in 2012, donate HERE, and share my episodes and/or blog posts with all your FB BFFs, and Twitter twits.

Thanks a ton, y’all! You will be remembered not only when I get to the top, but even later today when I’m nursing the Russell Stover omelette/tawny port mimosa hangover I’m conjuring right now.

Cheers, y’all!

Mazel tov, and Ho! Ho! Ho!

Charles Williams Keeps Team Gilda Sue Composed!

Hello, lovelies!

This is an exciting day! I’m off to finish the theme song for the story of my life. I KNOW! It’s like my own “Coal Miner’s Daughter.” But, without Doo.

Charlie Williams of The Bonaventure Quartet is writing it with me, and I couldn’t be prouder to share the grand staff with such an accomplished musician. I have half a Jewish mind to be intimidated, and if I hadn’t spiked my Starbucks half-decaf mocha (light on the whip, please, hon) with a shot and a half of Drambuie, I would be.

I’ll share this song with you soon, so stay tuned, folks. You’ll dig it the most!

CHEERS!