Author: gildasuerosenstern

Y’all, join us at Bitch!, my favorite little cafe, for Strip Trivia Night every Tuesday and Thursday. It totally rocks.
If you missed last night’s fun, let me tell you, it was wild and woolly, as anyone who knows Nancy Grace can attest. Yes, this week Nancy was on our team. Unfortunately–and I say unfortunately because of the very nature of the rules of Strip Trivia–Nancy is just not a real real good trivia player. All she really knows about is abducted girls and celebrity law suits. Or lip waxing. Oy, she knows enough about lip waxing to fill a book. Give her two Drambuie margaritas and you’ll hear all about it. Anyway, she was losing for us in a big way, and we were all down to our knickers, and it was her turn to remove an item of clothing, when all Hell broke loose. It might be important to know going in that it is against Strip Trivia rules to opt to remove your wig when it’s your turn to remove your padded push-up bra. Apparently, Nancy was unaware of this rule, and being that she was stark raving drunk at the time, she made quite a nearly-naked scene. I swear I have never seen nostrils so big, not even on Nancy. She was livid! And just as she was poised to slingshot bar peanuts at the officials with Anderson Cooper’s thong, she passed out.
Eventually Wolf Blitzer showed up lamenting how he was having to once again drag Nancy Grace out of Bitch! but nobody seemed to be able to drag the bitch out of Nancy Grace.
All this to say, join us at Bitch!’s next Strip Trivia Night. You will not be sorry you did . . . unless, of course, they lift Nancy Grace’s ban and she ends up on your team.

See y’all there!

Y’all, my favorite little neighborhood cafe, Bitch! just put out their new drink menu and they’ve added “The Gilda Sue.” I KNOW! It’s super tasty, but probably an acquired taste – not unlike myself. It’s full of Drambuie, well shaken, and strong but cheap – also not too unlike myself. Drop in and give her a go. See you there!
Cheers, Lovelies!

Hello, Lovelies!
See the new season of the show on the YouTube link above, and check out my new gig as Celebrity Spokesperson for Nunzia’s Nail Nest! “Where Beauty Comes To Roost!”
Thanks a bunch!

Hello, Lovelies!

What a rockin’ Fat Tuesday! We decided to extend the party through what we love to call Ass Wednesday, Double Chin Thursday, and Artery Clogged Friday. But, apparently, I’m late for Lent. I thought about maybe just passing on it all together. We’re having so much fun, you know. Or perhaps, being half-Christian, I can get away with doing a half-Lent, in which case, I can keep partying until around the Spring Equinox. I’ll make up for it at Yom Kippur, I suppose, when I’ll have to not only give up some stuff, but also Afflict My Soul, in accordance with Jewish tradition. What to do? Well, it’s 9 AM, and I really should hit the hay. I’ll sleep on it and see what counsel old Morpheus gives. Nighty-night, y’all! See you tomorrow. Let’s make it the best Cellulite Satur– Zzzzz. . . .

Hello, Lovelies!

Nunzia’s Nail Nest is offering a group discount on bang maintenance, every Thursday in March! We just need five gals to qualify as a group and we’ll get up to 50% off! Join me, won’t you?!
Nunzia’s Nail Nest! “Where beauty comes to roost!”

It’s Cupid’s Day! It’s President’s Day! It’s The Chinese New Year! It’s Lupercalia!
AND, it’s Dradel’s Bat Mitzvah!
Turning thirteen means becoming a woman, and it’s a very exciting time for any half-Jewish girl. But, y’all, this is really something. Even at Shalom Shirley Temple, it’s controversial for girls to read aloud from the Torah, but, as far as I can tell, a pussy cat has never even tried. Until now. She’s been practicing diligently, and I think she’s really going to bowl them over!
Mazltov, Dradel! Feline American pioneer!

Hello, Lovelies.
I have recently become aware of the shocking fact that The Gilda Sue Rosenstern Computer Internet Show has lost some fans due to some objections to my use of the words “Mexican” and “black” and “groundhog”. My first thought was that these folks must be racists who cannot abide reading anything at all about “colored people.” But, I’ve come to believe that these folks are simply too “open-minded” to not be super duper uncomfortable about anything written about “people of color.” Well, to them I say: Folks, Mexicans are aware that they are Mexican (shorn smooth or not), and black folks are aware that they are black. I am aware that the idea of groundhogs being aware of anything (even their shadows, much less their “selves”) is a matter of debate (especially among Christians and squirrels), but I’ve never known one to be anything but embarrassingly self-conscious (not unlike some of you, I fear).
In any case, farewell, former friends and fans. I raise my drambuie-tini to you and to our short but joyous time together. If there is life after political correctness, I’m sure we’ll meet again.
Meanwhile, I’ll be here partying with the Mexicans, blacks, Brazilians, Jews, heathens, groundhogs, squirrels, and, quite frankly, anybody who brings a hearty laugh and, with any luck, a little bottle of something that rocks big!
Bye, now!
-Gilda Sue

Hello, Lovelies!
I love this time of year! We’re all getting ready for the hooplah of Groundhog day at our house. And, ever since my cousin Dottie (on my mama’s side) hooked up with her partner, Tamika, we have a new tradition at the Rosenstern Groundhog Day dinner! To kick off Black History Month, we have a keg of Negro Modelo beer, and Tamika’s festive, gourmet covered dishes of Bara-ccoli Obama and Condaleeza Rice. Then, Daddy dresses up like George Washington Carver because he is the official carver of the blackened Ham, and we listen to Afro-Klezmer Funk Underground records all day!
Share your family Groundhog Day and Black History Month traditions with us here! And a freylekhn yontev!
-Gilda Sue

Hello, Lovelies!
I am wondering if ya’ll can help me out with this little pickle in my personal life. I am due for my annual pelvic exam next month. Now, y’all, my gynocologist, is real real cute,I have to admit,and I cannot bear to go into Dr. Wolfman’s office with everything in such a state of disarray. (Y’all know how the long winters can make a gal like me a tad lazy. . .) But, I’m wondering, if a girl truly cannot afford a Brazilian, do y’all think folks would be any the wiser if she settled for a Mexican?
Thanks for your input!
Bye, now!
-Gilda Sue Rosenstern