Author: gildasuerosenstern

As some of y’all may know, I’ve been picked by a director to play a part in A Streetcar Named Desire. It’s a play. It’s at The Lake Tar Monkey Summertime Theater Repertory Company Under The Stars But Not WITH The Stars, We Don’t Have That Much Money (YET!). I’m going to be Blanche Dubois. It’s gonna rock.

But, now, do any of you know anything at all about this Blanche Du Bois?

If you do, please clue me in. I’ve read this play– well, I’ve skimmed it– and I swear to goodness, I do not get it.

Thanks a ton!

Y’all, 2011 just keeps getting better! The movie about my life now has a producer, and she rocks! Her name is Armadillo. No, really, I swear. And even if she had no experience making movies, I’d have brought her on board based solely on her rockin’ name. (Do y’all know how many different types of armadillos there are? I mean, look ’em up! Check out that picture of the Pink Fairy Armadillo. Luckily, ours is the magical Nine-Banded Armadillo. Probably.) But even though her name would’ve been enough for me, the bonus is that this armadillo does actually know what she’s doing, and she’s done it before. We have a back story, Arma and I do, it’s true. I met her years ago at Bitch!, but we sort of fell out of touch. When we found each other again, she was a big shot film professional and I was a computer Internet sensation, and the rest is about to be history, y’all. And Groundhog Day is just around the corner! Isn’t the armadillo just a female groundhog? How super appropriate. You can see more of Arma’s handiwork if you watch the TV. She coordinates the Art Department for that show about teen vamps, The Vampire Diaries. (I KNOW!)
Welcome to Team Gilda, Arma. We’re tickled pink to have you on board!

Hello, lovelies! Help me welcome Atlanta sound engineer, musician, and Irishman Cayce Means to The Mean Mama Dog family!

Y’all, we’re just tickled pink to have this fellow on board, as he’ll be recording the voices in the movie about my life, which I’m told (just in my particular case, apparently) “is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.” (I know!)

Whatever.

Thanks, Cayce! You rock!

Hello Lovelies! Big news! I’ve signed up to find my dream boat, my Mr. Right, you know–my “Some-Mensch to Watch Over Me”–on a computer Internet dating website for half-Jewish Southerners called E-Hominy.com. Their motto is “Love and the whole schmeer!” I’m real real excited. To start, I had to come up with a “user name.” Now, “user name” did not sound all that encouraging on a dating website, to be sure. But, I’m forging ahead. I think my “user name” is real real cute and super appropriate ever since I downgraded my Brazilian Wax to a Mexican Wax, then upgraded to a Disco Wax, and got vajazzled by gluing sparklies on my hoo-hah. (My kiki! You know–my SuzyQ!) Eligible, single, computer Internet savvy, handsome half-Jewish men can now find me on E-Hominy.com as “The Gilded Suzy!”
Wish me luck, y’all! And I’ll keep you posted!

Oy, y’all! Halloween is scary enough with all those adolescent no-necks disguised as zombies, and vampires, and Amy Winehouses banging on the door with threats of “treat me or I’ll trick you” in hopes of getting gobs of candy that won’t do them any good, anyway. Do we have to endure all the grown up no-necks disguised as concerned and respectable citizens doing the same in hopes of getting votes that won’t do anybody good, too? Jeez! I’m glad that’s over!

Hello, Lovelies!
FYI- Mean Mama Dog is now raising funds for the movie about me HERE! IndieGoGo and Kickstarter take a PERCENTAGE! Do y’all know what that means? It means they take some cents for every dollar you give us! But we can do everything they can do RIGHT HERE! And we need every cent you can throw at us. We’re also going to need some people and stuff. Toss what and/or who you can our way, and spread the word, ok?
Thanks a ton!